Disaster Cat Mops the Floor..sort of...
Well, all the MURP players have gone home and the house is quiet again. As expected, the locked up Elk Hounds were not always attended to in time to prevent accidents. This is because, for the moment, Mommy is not letting them outside. At least not until we practice it again a few more times with The Pack Leader, otherwise known as My husband: The Wolf.
Anticipating what might happen during a busy weekend, I had gone to the local discount supermarket and purchased products which promise the user a clean, disinfected floor even after a little "accident" or two. I put them away in the cupboard under the sink and forgot about them. Until the invenentable happened, and I need to mop up a mess. Which happened about 1am this morning when I went down to the kitchen to make a sandwich.
Decided it was better to do the dirty work, before eating. I proceeded to search out the mop and other cleaning equipment required for the task. Then I reached for the bottles of magic liquid, guaranteed to make my life easier and my kitchen smell like a pine forest (instead of ode' due Elk Hound...). It was then I discovered that I had to pass a test, before I could use either of these miracle products. I had to figure out how to get the product out of the bottles. And this meant, opening the caps first.
No problem, I thought, I'll just push down and turn...so I just push down and turn and experience some of the worst pain my wrists can devise. This is bad enough, but the results of this test of pain is ...well nothing really. The cap is still on and has not moved a bit. I pick up the bottle, I inspect it for directions. Remember, this bottle if from our discount supermarket. The one that has millions of cheap products, which I think they buy in job lots from all over the world. Mostly in places where they do not speak English. It seems the only English words written on the bottle are: All Purpose Cleaner....the rest is well, its in something. And whatever that something is, I can not understand a word of it. The test is seems, includes answering a riddle. I am not in the mood for riddles, I am in the mood for a ham sandwich. Which is what I came downstairs for, about ten minute ago. I am tired, hungry, annoyed and now being defeated by a screw on cap...I am NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!
For just a moment, my mind flashes back about fifteen years ago, to the time I had my arm in a cast. That was the afternoon I got home from the emergency clinic and and the pharmacy, clutching my bottle of much needed pain killer. Only to discover that they have given a women with an arm in a cast, a bottle of pain killers with, you guessed it, a child proof cap. I nearly started to cry. Thankfully, my roommate got home from work at that point and not only opened the D$%mn bottle, but broke the cap in two pieces for good measure. The resulted air exposure may not have been all that good for the pills, but it meant I could get to them and use them for their intended purpose. This was not happening with the floor cleaner.
Flashback over, I studied my options. All the while being closely observed the two tail wagging, happy elk hounds. Both of whom assured me that neither of them were responsible for the huge yellow puddle at my feet. It must have been a cat or maybe some orange juice? They are good dogs, wag-wag! I resit the temptation to growl in their generation direction, there are no cats in the kitchen this stuff sure doesn't smell like orange juice. But the time for punishment is long past. And, they had probably been locked up too long anyway.
So, what to do? I could go interrupt the Ork Killing upstairs, but wasn't really up to the humiliation of bringing a bottle of cleaner upstairs for the mighty men to help the little lady with. I could, just use water to mop up the floor, but that is what was had been doing all week and it really didn't help the smell very much. Then I remembered, I bought a second bottle of cleaner. A different brand and a much smaller bottle. It was really designed for disinfecting cat pans and smaller items. But it had a tiny lid and it had a label written in English!
I grabbed said bottle, pushed down on tiny little and was greeted by the happy sound of "pop" as it came off. With a glare at the larger, cheaper, bottle of cleaner I proceeded to pour a good chunk of the smaller bottle's contents onto the floor and then mop of the entire problem. I was then able to pop the lid back onto the bottle and put both of them away.
I rewarded myself with not one, but two ham sandwiches, which were not shared by the Elk Hounds. No matter how hard they stared at me with wagging tails and soulful begging eyes. This was my snack, I earned it and by golly I was going to eat it.
Which I did, and then went to bed.....my first sight this morning? The Lizard cleaning up an identical yellow puddle on the exact same piece of floor that had been decorated last night. I am not sure who is housebreaking whom at this point. What I didn't notice, was which bottle of cleaner The Lizard used, but then his hands are bigger than mine anyway.
Maybe tomorrow I'll get my husband to break the cap on the other one and pour it into something else? And think about how much this whole "discount" idea is worth....grrrrrr....
Disaster Cat....